When ladies drink ... too much

As told from a female perspective ...

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING 'WOO-HOO!' IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S BUTT AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE 'OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!'

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATS US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE CHARDONNAY.

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop ... or THE BATHMAT ?)

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

Can you think of any others that come to mind? Either from your own personal experience or stories you've heard? How do guys act and what do they do when they've had too much to drink?

Public Service Announcement ... Buy a suit!

Men ... if you're serious about life, fashion and progress, I suggest you buy a suit.

This peice of clothing has more power than you may realize, it's the one outfit that is respected in all circles and social settings. (Think about it.)

Even a thug wears a suit to court or have to take cues from their lawyers who are suited up.

I challenge you to wear a suit to a wedding and I guarantee you'll feel better about yourself, look better and get noticed by woman who may not have normally looked twice at you.

Here are some examples ...

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by twograsshoppers suggesting you SUIT UP and while you're at it, buy a nice watch and a nice pair of shoes.

Woman with half shaved heads...

WHY ARE WOMAN HALF SHAVING THEIR HEADS?!?!?

Why are woman shaving their heads at all?

Unless you're going through chemotherapy, cutting off your jheri curls or dreads to start fresh, or are named Grace Jones, you should not be shaving your head, PERIOD!

Like everything else, once one person does it, it gradually starts to trickly down to the masses and the everybodies in our copycat society. Each day I go out or see pictures of peoples nights out, there are more and more half cropped female domes. Not cute.

It doesn't look good and when it has to grow out, it looks worst!

So what's going to happen, instead of looking "awkward" for a few weeks while your hair gradually forgives you for the trauma you've put it through, you'll get impatient and cut it again, likely shorter.

Take my advice ... don't do it!

WOLVERINE GAY!???? Say it aint so.

"Hugh Jackman responded to persistent rumors that he's gay -- maybe this has something to do with that? -- to Parade magazine this Sunday.
"I'd be happy to go and deny it, because I'm not. But by denying it, I'm saying there is something shameful about it, and there isn't anything shameful," Jackman says.
"The questions about sexuality I find more here in America than anywhere else, because it's a big hang-up and defines what people think about themselves and others. It's not a big issue in Australia."
Jackman is married fellow Aussie Deborra-Lee Furness, and the couple has adopted two children, Ava and Oscar."

PHEW ... we at twograsshoppers were afraid we'd have to rip through him like he does through the innocent buses, trucks and cars in the new movie.

Check out the trailer.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid18866168001?bctid=20932893001