This is in response to That Guy's post this morning. All women have or will be in at least one "love triangle" in their life. Why do we put ourselves through it? For so many reasons.
Scenario 1: We meet a great guy fall in love and find long into the relationship that he has a girlfriend or wife. He tells us he's not happy in the relationship and that they've been together for so long and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Instead of thinking logically and realizing that he's still intimate with her, buys her things and spends quality time with her, we think with our hearts and are convinced to think that he needs time. He gets the benefit of the doubt and nothing changes. If he didn't leave her when he said he would, he's not going to. Ladies, why put in 110% only to get 50% in return? This is obviously not a good investment.
Scenerio 2: You get caught up with a married man at work. You know he's not going to leave his wife and kids but the relationship you have with him is great. This is a case of the sex is too good and I don't know how to quit. It's convenient and satisfies you for the moment. Now, if he's messing with you at work, isn't it possible that he could be messing with someone else also? And what happens when he gets bored with you the same way he's bored with his wife? The male is in control of this situation once again. You're being accomodating to his time and his needs. What about yours?
Scenerio 3: Your gut tells you that your boyfriend/husband is cheating. He forgets plans you've made, cancels dates last minute and his stories don't match up. Proof reveils itself to you by accident and you confront him. He becomes hostile and tries to flip it on you. Ding, ding, ding! This should be a warning sign to you. Hostility is a sign of guilt; men use it to protect themselves and create a diversion. Don't let this fluster you. Me straight forward and stern. If you're not getting straight answers, then this just means that he's not willing to cooperate. And you shouldn't be cooperating with him in the bedroom either.
Scenario 4: Your body hasn't felt the same in days. You decide to go to the doctor and find out that you've contracted an STD. You're shocked and think to yourself how could this be? I haven't been with anyone else. You tell your boyfriend and ask him if he's seen any symptoms in himself. He says no (women sometimes see symptoms first) and accuses you of being with someone else or passing on something that you previously had. Ladies, let's be real. If you haven't been with anyone in months or years, don't be in denial, you got it from your man. Chances are that he either one, hasn't seen the symptoms yet or two, found out that he had it and started treating it already. Don't fall into this trap and start blaming yourself and beating yourself up. It's not worth the stress.
I'm not bashing women (because I am one) but I've found so many inconsistencies in the ways that we handle relationships.
1. We don't communicate effectively. I'm a firm believer in being told the truth, whether I like what is being said or not. Although the truth hurts sometimes, it gives us a dose of reality and can push us to be better people. With this being said, we're also very emotional. The initial shock of hearing something that we don't like can hurt but you have to learn to deal with those words logically. Ask questions if you don't understand and make sure that you also get the answers that you need to make the best decisions for yourself. If something doesn't make sense to you then say so.
2. Women are too busy competing and blaming one another, so instead of working together to resolve problems, we work against each other to benefit the male. I've been in various situations where males with girlfriends have looked at me or tried to talk to me with their girlfriends around or in the picture and when the girls find out they're mad at me. Mind you, I want nothing to do with their man. Note to self ladies - Check your man first! He's the one that you deal with on a consistent basis. Being hostile at a complete stranger is not going to get your the answers you need. In most cases, she's not even the person to blame; your man is.
3. Instead of sitting down and assessing things on our own. We talk about everything with our girlfriends. Let me tell you, I cut this out a long time ago. If you can't come to your own conclusions about your own relationship without always receiving advice from your friends there's a problem. Jealousy and personal experiences can always alter the advice that people give you. Don't allow your head to be filled up with this garbage. Your friends are their for support not reassurance.
If any of the scenarios above sound familiar to you, you need to sit down and reavaluate your situation.
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