Yeah yeah yeah ... communication is the key to every successful relationship, we've heard that before. But, what I most people don't know is that it isn't about how much you say but whether each person grasps the other's perspective.
If your partner is a reluctant talker, you may be unwittingly fueling his reticence. When they states their case, do you launch a counterattack? Criticize their reasoning? Get upset? If so, they may keep quiet for a reason.
The most useful communication technique of all time is deceptively simple, but it works like magic. Next time your partner makes a point, take a moment to digest whatever they are saying. Then say it back to them. Maybe not word for word, but you have to get the gist—and you can't stop trying until your partner agrees you've nailed it. Switch roles and repeat. Once you're not so busy explaining yourself to someone who just doesn't get it, you can look for compromise.
This technique is courtesy of Oprah.com, so I suggest you take it with a grain of salt. But, I'm sure we can all remember a time when you were trying to get someone to understand yourperspective or put themselves in you shoes. Give it a try.
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